My daughter has a friend that does not have a father and her mother is mostly absent. When she is with our family, which is often, and I have to tell Madison “no,” her friend stares at me with a longing stare. SHE ACTUALLY LONGS FOR SOMEONE TO TELL HER NO!
My name is Caroline and I am far from the perfect parent, however, I am very sensitive to my daughter’s feelings. When we are around others, I err on the side of “letting things slide.” She eats more sugar, stays up later, and gets her way more often when in the company of others. It is not that I want to be a different parent in front of others, I want consistency, it is this:
There is a time for MY actions to be questioned, but it is not in front of other people. To me, that hurts doubly to be second guessed in front of others. To me, that is a private matter. With my daughter, it is a private matter.
However, there is a certain line, where I do not want to, but it is my responsibility as a mom to say “no.” There is a line that I love my daughter too much to let her cross. Sometimes, I BELIEVE THE MOST LOVING THING SHE CAN HEAR IS NO. No, I love you too much to let you be rude to your friend. No, I love you too much to let you have that. No, I love you too much to let you talk to me like that.
This is such a touchy subject TO ME. There are too many hypocritical people that believe it is their right to walk around telling everyone what they are doing wrong. Fingers down the chalkboard, I cringe just being around these people! SO DID JESUS. So many of us have that picture of that someone that springs into our head and we turn and sprint in the other direction as quickly as we can! Hear me out, that is not what I am preaching!
However, I do NOT want to want to swing the pendulum in the other direction! I do not want to be afraid to stand up for what is right! Call me judgmental, call me a hater…have at it. I’m just getting started. But I do not really care if I hurt feelings. I am more concerned with doing what is right.
Would a wife be loving if she did not call her husband out on being an alcoholic? (mine is not. Just an example here)
Would a friend be right to keep quiet when her friend is chosing abusive behavior?
Would a parent be loving their child to never train them in what is good and right and healthy? Eat what you want, say what you want, do what you want???!! NO.
I believe that true Christians, some true Christians, have become so scared of being the judgemental “mother” that we are too afraid to call “our children” out on their bad behavior. Well, the line has been crossed.
I AM NOT THE JUDGE OF THE HEART! But christians are called to righteous judgement. We are called to stand up for the helpless. We are called to fight for what is right.
Oh! Not judging the heart, always loving, while fighting for what is right and calling sin what it is: sin. It is a hard HARD HARD line! In fact, it is impossible! But the things that are impossible with men are possible with God.
And that is why I believe the only answer for restoration in our personal lives and in our world is JESUS.
He loves at all times. He knows the cells that make up our bodies. He knows our soul’s deepest desires. He can make the planets with his fingertips. And he loves us intimately!
My God, I can trust you, only you with my everything! Only you will never fail me! And YOU are the answer to the hurt and void in the human heart.
(Still pondering the title? Yeah, me too. It was meant to be more of a grabber.)