No. I think you absolutely definitely shouldn’t. Go for it, not yet. 

I want answers. I want to know what to do to be healthy, make money, raise a successful citizen, be a stellar friend, and how clean my house should be!  

When I said, “I do.”  I really meant I did.  But sometimes, more often than I want you to know, I looked more like I didn’t. I was, am, grumpy, rude, self serving, and just plain done. But I loved him. I still do.  

And when the nurse laid that 7lb 9oz miracle on my instantly smaller tummy, I cried and smiled and instantly changed, because she was everything, and meaningful, and poetic, and beautiful, and soft as beautiful. But sometimes, more than I want you to know, I get frustrated with a messy room, and stepping on pink Legos, and a sassy attitude. But I love her. I always will, even through the teenage years. 

When should I scrub and when should I play?  How many cups of milk should I drink in a day?  Should I sit on the couch and watch a show with James or read “Bringing Up Girls,” that should have been checked off my reading list six years ago?  Should I call up a friend or spend the day at home?  Is this the year to save or enjoy?  A bush or a floral beside the house?  When and how and where? Why?

Daddy, Father God, will you please tell me?  

Because it matters completely. I want to do and accomplish. But I have made mistakes. And I hear you whisper that yesterday does not matter. Right here. Right now. This very. 

One thing is the objective:  accomplish, do, succeed, but the greatest of these is love. Love. 

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13 thoughts on “No. I think you absolutely definitely shouldn’t. Go for it, not yet. 

  1. Life is always in the now. How we deal with our memories will determine your current state of mind. Did you already take those mistakes to Jesus or have you decided to punish yourself with them. All of seeking the Way struggle in this area. Letting go is hard but necessary. In a weakened state, we’re more likely to relapse into bad habits that produce more shame and regret. And then the downward spiral begins. I love how you refer to God as Daddy. I’m just entering this stage of my relationship with God. I know that a real relationship with Him starts here with me identifying myself through Christ as son and heir to the Kingdom.

    Liked by 2 people

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