I want so much to be strong for him. He calls me his rock. I have never felt so driven, I have never felt so much purpose. Here I am, following my God. I see my God face to face in human form. It is one of those things that completely blows me away and at the same time I realize that I can not grasp the depths of its meaning.
Jesus just returned to us. He was gone for over forty days. The insanity of the story! I would not believe him if I had not seen his miracles with my own eyes! I did not want him to go but he said he must. He did not eat or drink for forty days or forty nights. I do not understand, sometimes, why he does the things he does. And then he met with Satan. Why did he not destroy him then and there? How does Satan have the audacity to even stand before him? To stand before God and tempt him! My God, the wonder of it all!
And here we sit and I stare at him while he talks. He looks so ordinary. There is nothing about him that would make me think he was anything different from the rest of us, that would make me think he is God! It is his words. His words are like none I’ve ever heard before.
Blessed are the poor in spirit, and those who mourn, and those who are persecuted for righteousness! Even in the synagogue, I have never heard this message.
He tells me to love my enemies. He holds me to a higher standard. He tells me to pray and fast in secret. These words, they are the words of God, I know it.
And then he turns to me, his eyes look deep into mine and he says, “Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find.”
I have never heard so much wisdom. I have never been so convicted and at the same time so loved. And it makes me think with great responsibility, “what do I want?”
I follow Jesus. I see him here before me, I walk with him and talk with him, the God that made me is my best friend! What do I want most in this world, what will I ask? The answer is clear before I ask myself. Ask and I shall receive? I want to know him.”
And I sit. And I listen.