The Way it Should Have Been

Terror. Terror seized my body, I could feel my heart beating out of my chest with an intensity and pounding that throbbed my whole body. They were coming for me. For me. There was nowhere I could go, nowhere to hide.  Hiding my body was useless. They were seeking my soul. 

Distance did not exist to them. The darkness did not hide their sight. No threat, no weapon, no fight would hinder them. Here they came and they wanted one thing:  my pain. 

Slithering under the door, they fill the room.  Laughing, it is the only way I can define the noise, but it has no joy. It is the sound of satisfaction, excitement of lust fulfilled. Demons. Demons had found me. 

I fought. I only wore myself. Their strength was undefeatable. I screamed, I cried, with no hope of relief but only from shock within my body.  The terror of pain surpasses the physical. Realization that it was upon me. 

Dragged out to a hill. One, from the multitude of them, held my body. His strength held me like iron chains. They fought over who could torture. One of them would take the whip, swinging with strength of no earthly being. Tearing my skin and shocking my nerves. My body wanted to pass out, to seek some relief, but they were experts of torture. They knew how to intensify pain, while keeping me always conscious.  Pain. Terrorizing pain. 

All the while, the guilt that lay on my heart. You see, I am a liar, a cheat, an adulterer, a murderer. There is no sin that I have not committed. I am guilty and I must die. I must suffer the consequences and pay the price.  My soul can not seek refuge. The pain inflicted is deserved. I am a criminal, condemned to pain. Forever pain. 

They drag my mangled body, I do not even look human. The whips, the spit upon my face, the insults, each a blow I feel and deserve. I am layed out flat. I moan in terror and fear of what I still will face. I see the tools, I see the instruments. I see my agony and I see the demonic smiling faces.  Their day has come, their satisfaction begun. My hell their heaven. My pain their reward. 

A powerful beast drops a beam beside me. It lands upon my arm, breaking the bone. They take my arms, they look into my eyes, wishing to soak up my pain and savor every moment. 

The nails are spikes, thick and huge. Held up to my hands, I knew my coming fate, with a blow of the hammer my body wriggles. The spike nailed through my wrist, pain that can not be explained. 

Crucified, hung upon a cross. They taunted, and they jeered, and they scoffed at me. Through agonizing pain, I pushed up from my bleeding, nailed feet. I sought breath from my crushing chest. 

But this was not the worst, nailed I could not escape, but I was shocked in terror of the fate that awaited me. 

And here was the final blow, he stood before me. The leader, the master planner, with strength and power he stood before me. Since my birth, he had worked for this very moment. Slaved away for my soul. He had won the victory, I easily gave into his conniving plan. 

Satan stood before me. With one large hand, he ripped me from the cross and flung me into the fiery pit. Forever to be tormented in agonizing, torturing pain. Pain. Forever pain. 

It should have been me. I should have hung upon the cross. But my Jesus, he paid the price for me. I am saved. 

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