I like the safe route. Not really a risk taker. I enjoy the rush of, well anything, but I first have to be pushed over the edge. OK. I admit it, scaredy pants. Yep, that’s me.
Cancer? Yeah, I’ll take option two!
Cancer is not what I chose. It is unpredictable, it is not safe, high maintenance, scary, pretty much everything that I would not choose for my life.
A few years ago, I started feeling sick. Rapid heart beat. That happened to me before. Then it got worse and worse. And the doctor discovered two tennis ball size tumors in my Adrenal Glands. I didn’t really want to do that again. So, when I started feeling similar symptoms, I tried not to…I tried not to….yeah, I freaked out.
I went to the doctor and sat on the medical table, kicked my legs back and forth, and waited for her to come and tell me: Cancer.
But, she walked through the door, and we just needed to adjust my medication. And then she said something, something she had no clue what she was saying, she said, “Don’t get so scared. Going to the doctor is not that big of a deal.”
Really? Well, it is for me. Ya know, most people get scared of the possibility of the news that has been a reality for me. Scared? I’m human. Yeah, I get a little nervous when my heart starts beating rapidly, I get a little nervous to sit on that damn doctor’s chair/table (what in the hell is that thing?) because once upon a time, several times, it wasn’t good news and then go back home for me.
So, Cancer? Why don’t I like it? Stupid question, huh? Cancer is scary. It hurts. That pretty much sums it up. And when I write it down like that, I realize, Hmmmm, that pretty much sums up life.
If there is something that I have learned in life, it is this: Everybody has something! Something, something that is scary. Something that hurts.
We are humans and this is life. Life is scary and life hurts.
So, what is option 2? Option 2 is perfection. It is tears wiped away and never crying again. Option 2 is forever. It is security, it is getting every thing that I want. Option 2 is living with the God of the Universe for all of eternity! Option 2 is Heaven.
So, I’m signed up. That day will come. Option 2 is what is happening next. So, that makes cancer not so scary.