Response: “Oh you poor thing!” And then turn and run in the other direction as quickly as they could.
OR SO I THOUGHT! I was scared of my weakness. Scared people wouldn’t like me. Scared I would lose friends. Scared it would make my life meaningless.
I did my very best to keep it hidden. Did my best to avoid any topic that would bring up that “C” word. Did my best to make people like me. Did my best to make friends. Did my best to give my life purpose and meaning.
IT WAS EXHAUSTING!
Then, sometimes slowly, Jesus would take my firm grip on my life and slowly rub my back and speak kindly to me and loosen one finger at a time. Then, sometimes, it was boot camp and it was hard and it was extreme, but he changed my life in a huge way.
18 years. 18 years after I was diagnosed. It took 18 years for me to peek from behind “Momma’s legs” and step into this big scary world. It took 18 years for me to take the hand of Jesus and say, “OK my Lord, what do you have for me?”
“Share my story? …ummm, no thanks. People may not like me.” But slowly, obediently, I sat down to the computer and typed out the words Beautiful Life with Cancer.
It was a rush of emotion. Words of truth. A release of a secret.
The Journey Begins. My fingers typed out a story. I read it, like I was reading it for the first time. But it was my story. I opened my gripped palms and I let that little bird fly.
I looked Satan in the face and yelled, “Take that! You will not control me any longer!”
And in my weakness, the God that made me, made me strong. Because it is not about me, it is about Him!
And something crazy happened! People connected. People opened up and shared. I heard other stories. I made friends. I opened up and the weakness in my life that I was so terrified of became a strength.
Sharing the weaknesses in my life connected me to people like I never thought possible. Everyone has something. Everyone has a struggle.
Do you want to connect? Do you want to make a difference in the life of someone that is struggling? Open up and share your own weaknesses.
The God of everything, the only one who knows everything, the all powerful, the King of Kings did not consider equality with God something to keep him from loving me! And He became weak for me, and became human, and died on a cross for me!
Thank you Jesus for taking weak Caroline and loving me and using me in your almighty plan!
I no longer have a secret. Tell anyone you want.
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