How did I get here?! No. No. I mean it the opposite way that the phrase is often used. How did I get here? I look at my past, I look at my dreams, my realities, my accomplishments and I wonder: How do I have this peace? This is it. This is life. This day that I am living, it is absolutely, overwhelmingly amazing!
Yes, there are things that I want in life. I want a swimming pool. Like, I really want a swimming pool. My girl and I would roll out of bed on the weekends and hit the pool and stay until it was time to go to bed. First thing after school, we would be in the pool. Play date? Wanna swim? Birthday party? Swim party. Guests coming over? Bring your suits. What are my plans for the day? The pool. Yeah, it would get its use. So, there are things that I want in life, but, ummm…would that pool bring me ultimate peace and joy? Nah. Not at all. I have things so great now, one more great thing would just be that, one more great thing.
So, how can I say, “I have arrived.” ??? It is because I have FINALLY realized that there is nothing, I mean NOTHING, NO THING that will ever give me peace. What will? What will bring me peace? What will give me daily contentment? What will make me love my family when they are being…well, not lovable? What will make me want to serve others when it brings me sacrifice? What brings me contentment when my life is in chaos? Why is it not that big of a deal when I don’t fit in? Only one thing…not thing, one person can ever fulfill.
So, If you know me, you might laugh. Ummm…Did Caroline write this? I AM OH SO FAR FROM PERFECT! But, I honestly daily realize, and if I ponder for just a moment, I know: I’ve got it! Don’t waste your time trying to convince me otherwise. I have been hurt and somehow it is ok. I have not known the answer and somehow it doesn’t worry me. I have seen the world and said, “Yeah, no thanks.”
How? Because it is not me. I quit!!! Jesus took over and I’m not looking back!