Anger Management

I admit it.  I am not the best driver.  I would much rather have someone else take the wheel.  I drive slowly “like a Granny” and I hate when I do not know where I am going.  One such day, I was following directions to meet someone.  I was at the point of, “Turn on this street” that should have been coming up soon and I was reading all the street signs.  Driving down the road.  Slow to read sign.  Not it.  Continue down road.  Slow to read sign.  And, “Oh!  That is it!”  I turned.  I turned without turning on my blinker.  Meanwhile, there was a middle aged man, sitting in a truck, waiting to turn out of that same street.  When I turned, without applying the blinker signal, he leaned out his window and yelled out words that would make even a sailor blush.  I just stared at him in complete amazement thinking, “Dude, this is obviously about something else.”

We are not very big TV people.  Although we have currently given in, we spent most of our marriage with no cable.  Back in one of these days, I was going about cleaning up the home and going through the routine of my day.  I was home alone.  There is a knock at the door.  I answer.  There stands a man that appears to be in his twenties.  “Mam, You are stealing cable and I need to come in and take a look.”

Don’t know why I tried to be polite, “Sorry, I am not stealing cable.  You can not come in now.  If you would like to come back later this evening, you can come in then.”

He turned redder than I have ever seen a human body turn before and continued with a slur that would again make a sailor blush, insisting that he is going to come into my house.  I closed and locked the door and called for backup.

These are the situations that I refuse to deal with in life.  Because I do not know what I am dealing with.  There is obviously a breakup, a crushed dream, a canceled vacation, SOMETHING, there is something bigger that was causing the anger and I was not going to be a victim of that misguided anger.

Yes, I have been that person.  I have been angry to my brim.  I have been angry and done the wrong thing.  (Although, I have never tried to force myself into someone’s house before.  Yikes!) But this is a whole new level.  This is an anger when we refuse to deal with the situation, an anger where we allow it to change us.  That anger.  That is where I will shake the dust or, if needed, stand and fight.

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35 thoughts on “Anger Management

  1. I always try to remember that anger is always about something else. A long time ago, I learned that anger is usually a secondary emotion and it is a mark of maturity to understand this and then look for the primary emotion instead of reacting to the anger. Good post!

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  2. I think the saying goes…he who is at war with the world is really just at war with himself. When dealing with habitually angry people who just want to dump on you their emotional “load”, I’ve noticed that it takes 2 to fight. They can’t fight with themselves lol, so no matter what they say if I remove myself mentally from that situation there can be no “fight”. I also make them aware that I keep being civil in spite of their rudeness…eventually the situation deescalates but…sheesh I don’t know how they can be angry all the time, it’s so exhausting.

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  3. I always think that whenever a person gets angry at you for no reason, its always coming from something else. Its the built up aggression and unfortunately you were the target, I always think to myself that, the person must be going through alot and couldnt handle it thats why he needed to vent it somewhere else.

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  4. I always think that whenever a person gets angry at you for no reason, its always coming from something else. Its the built up aggression and unfortunately you were the target, I always think to myself that, the person must be going through alot and couldnt handle it thats why he needed to vent it somewhere else.

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  5. You did exactly the correct thing with the man at the door, and I’ve even known a few in my life who would have considered a 12-gauge shotgun to be reasonable back-up to call for in that situation. I also agree whole-heartedly with your assumption that anger of that nature is usually coming from somewhere else, and that’s what makes it so dangerous, since we have no way of guessing how far that anger might drive the one who is currently in it’s clutches. Thanks for a great post.

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  6. I agree you did the right thing with that guy. I would have called the cable company and informed them of his slurring nonsense. It’s okay to be angry but just at the right things. Even JESUS got angry but it was directed at the right thing. Enjoyed reading your post!

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    • i agree with you about anger at the right things!

      and my husband did call the cable company (he was very angry at the right things in this circumstance 🙂 and the cable company said they were not able to track who was in our area at that time. they didn’t seem too concerned about it. since then, i have refused to do business with them.

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  7. Myrecklessallegory’s comment is right on the money—”he who is at war with the world is really just at war with himself. “My partner rides a scooter to work (5 miles) and has had to contend with unfathomable verbal abuse from drivers who are angry that he is “only” doing 40mph on a road marked for 35mph; he’s also been cut off, honked at, flipped off, and on several occasions drivers have decided to scare him by “sharing” the lane with him. He is not a small man, nor a youngish one, but drivers are so aggressive here in South Florida. He finally started using a GoPro camera to record his trips in case he is involved in another accident.(Yes, he’s already had one—he was hit by a driver who ran a stop sign in a parking lot!) He says people are much less willing to express their anger when they are being watched or recorded. How sad is that?

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  8. I agree that we truly do not know what has happened in another person’s life to cause that kind of angry reaction, or how they might have learned it as a means to reduce stress, or even control other people. They are obviously covering deep hurt, however, and that gives me enough reason to stall my reaction, take a step back in my mind, and remember to pray for them, which calms me, changes my own attitudes and takes the stress out of the situation for me. Perhaps it allows them space to ponder also…… 😉

    That doesn’t really apply immediately to those two situations you mention, the first one being in passing and the second one a direct threat, but it can soothe the turmoil of the after effects of a thing like that.

    Stealing cable, huh? When you don’t even use it? Reminds me of the strange calls I receive about the problems I am having with “windows” on my computer when I’m not even using that system! Highly SUSPICIOUS!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes! Sometimes the assumptions to “get in the door” (sometimes literally!) dont work.

      And i absolutely agree to pray for them! Although sometimes the best thing to do is walk away from them, they can have real hurt that has led them to that place of anger

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  9. Part of anger management is keeping offence at a low and being unconditional in our love. It’s all in the attitude. You can look at a crushed dream as a closed door so, let’s try another door; or as failure and just quit altogether. Great post.

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