Call to Arms

Dark.  Loud explosions boomed occasionally and a constant high pitched spray of bullets.  Inside my head was a constant whirling and confusion.  My vision blurred as I looked around at the casualties and wounded.  One tangled in barbed wire and bent backward into the trench.  His body occasionally shook as the enemy shot again at his exposed legs.

“He is dead!”  I yelled out in frustration and anger.  “Leave him alone!”  I think I yelled it out.  Maybe it was all in my head.

I turned.  I ran as fast as I could.  I began dropping gear.  I ran past some other soldiers standing firm at their post.  A girl, a young girl of about ten, was bandaged where one arm used to be, but she stood in such confidence.  I ran past her.

Another aged man, laying inside the trench with many fresh battle wounds on top of old battle scars.  He shook his fists at the sky and cursed God.

I ran and ran.  Each soldier a different scene.  Some shot, young, old, fixed, soiled pants, mixed descriptions that do not belong in a war.  Then I stopped.  I froze.  Something was moving within a bundle.  Tucked within a nest of rocks.  An infant hand poked out.  Bending, I folded back the dirty burlap blanket.  A baby.  Dropping completely to my knees, I yelled out, but then threw my whole body over the infant as a bomb whirled over my head and exploded nearby.

A sound began softly in my ear.  I took my finger and tried to clean out my ears, only making the sound louder.  “Stop!  Stop!”  I covered my ears.  It sounded like a sweet music box.  “Stttoooooppp! You do not belong here!”  Turning my head in the direction of the music, I see it.

Pretty girls and well dressed gentlemen.  Well fed, clean, protected.  Just a short distance from our battle was another world.  A high-class party with all the finest embellishments.  Occasionally, a head would turn in the battle’s direction, it would cock to the side, take a few steps toward us and give a pitting sigh.  Out came trays of food, dancing, laughter.

Inside my head spun faster and faster, the battle spun in the other direction, the party spun.  It all grew louder and louder.  I clasped my head between my hands and shut my eyes, trying to drown out what would not go away.  Toppling backward, my hands reached out desperately to grab the now screaming baby.  As I fell my arm was cut by rusty barbed wire and then I hit my head on a sharp rock.  Pain.  I lay in more pain than can be described.

Laying, waiting to die, my spirit leaves my body.  Pain leaves my body.  But I remain.  Strength enters me.  Clarity, healing, power seep into my body.  I stand.  I stand firm.  A gold belt of the truth is buckled around my waist.  I understand.  My healed breast is covered in righteousness.  Readiness covers my feet.  I hold the shield of faith.  All fear is replaced with confidence and my head covered with salvation.  I can not be harmed.  Tightly grasping the sword of the spirit, I am invincible.  I turn to help the baby and automatically a covering protects her.  A yell escapes my body but fear and pain have been replaced with confidence.  It is a battle cry.  A call to arms.

I did not chose this.  I woke and found myself here.  Cancer is my battle.  But with a strength that is not my own, I stand firm.

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57 thoughts on “Call to Arms

  1. Reminds me of an illustrated vision by the great evangelist Charles Finney. There is a dock stretching out into a turbulent sea. Well dressed people are drinking and laughing on it while in the water people are drowning. Bless you sister for embracing the battle and not the party.

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  2. Caroline, this is so relative to anyone suffering. People all over the world are experiencing “wars”, while others are feasting, and oblivious to their suffering. The ending is priceless! Your writing is powerful! Thanks.

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  3. Reblogged this on COLORSTORM and commented:
    Please meet Caroline.
    This essay in particular is weighty, for it comes from a life and heart of experience. Read slowly, stay with it to the end, and be both humbled and encouraged.

    Fine, fine writing, with an even stronger message.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. That was a beautiful post! I am so thankful that you followed my blog this morning. I probably wouldn’t have seen this if you hadn’t. I just lost a friend to cancer and his disposition was so wonderful. He knew where his hope was. His wife and children will always remember the faithful fight he made, and the example he was. Such a blessing when you have confidence in the crown of life that awaits beyond the grave. This life is just a vapor. The life to come is so worth fighting for! Thank you for your posts:) God Bless

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    • so sorry for your loss! Thank you for sharing. with hope in Jesus, he is in a wonderful place, finally in the loving arms of his savior! i will pray for his family and friends, especially his children, that he left behind.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I seen in one of your earlier posts that you had commented on how would this trial glorify God. I know for myself that I learned so much through my friends example! It has really helped me to value the time we are given, to do all we can to bring glory to his name, and share the gospel of Jesus Christ. Keep sharing, I look forward to your future posts! Prayers and thoughts are with you:)

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  5. By the way, I’m glad we met on Blogging 101. For me the community I built with others are priceless. Your articles and the way you say what you say, make reading them something I look forward to. Bless your heart!

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  6. This is beautiful. My loved one had a similar viewpoint.. Being prepared with the armor of God. May the Lord bless you and walk with you in every step you take on this journey. Praying for you! ~ Ashley

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  7. Reblogged this on Trinity Productions and commented:
    I want to share this blog. I think the analogy is powerful and moving. Satan doesn’t play games. He is an experienced soldier and executes his attacks flawlessly. We can’t play his game and win. We must run (as this soldier did) to Christ. When we take up his armor, and follow his commands. He will never lead us wrong. We are more than conquerors through him.

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  8. First of all, thank you for checking out my blog! Your battle with cancer is quite awe-inspiring and motivational; keep it up (and the great writing). As others noted, your imagery was particularly apt and powerful. A pleasure to read!

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  9. May we all be filled with the same power of God, to stand in these last day. so we can be strong in the Lord and in the Power of His Might. My wish is to manifest God in all His Fullness and not myself. Let it be according to His Word. Amen

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  10. This is excellently written and very moving – thank you for such a powerful read. My fiancé’s mother has recently been diagnosed with lung cancer and we are all struggling with how to deal. I just started following your blog and it seems to be filled with incredibly inspiring posts – I look forward to reading more from you. 🙂

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  11. Thank you for sharing this profound message. We can win the battles only if we wear the full armor of God.
    11 Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
    12 For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world-rulers of this darkness, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.
    13 Wherefore take up the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and, having done all, to stand.
    Ephesians 6:11-13 American Standard Version (ASV)

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