Spiritual Flesh and Blood 10

(A continuation of a story. If you want to start at the beginning, scroll to Spiritual Flesh and Blood 1)

Two memories stood out to Wayne concerning his father. The first was of him calling Wayne into his office only to dismiss him. The second occurred that same year. It was Christmas morning and Wayne woke up with all the excitement that a child has with the magic of the holiday. 

He ran down two flights of marble stairs. The twelve foot Christmas tree stood tall welcoming all in the large marble entryway that opened into the grand living room. Music played, snow was falling, sweet breakfast smells filled the room. It all looked like a movie scene. 

His nanny greeted him with a Christmas hug. Five other home employees circled around smiling and welcoming watching a child enjoy Christmas. Wayne looked around the room, “Where is Mommy and Daddy?”

Wayne longed to make the moment meaningful and personal. 

“They want you to go ahead and open your presents.”  His Nanny responded. 

Wayne insisted that he would not open gifts until his parents were there to enjoy them with him. 

Finally, his mother came running into the room. Wayne hugged her and looked up longingly into her eyes, hoping that she could give him the one thing he really wanted for Christmas, parents that loved him. 

She smiled and asked, “Why haven’t you opened any presents?  Look at all of them!”

“Where’s Daddy?”

She replied, “Your father bought you all these presents.”

“Can Daddy come here and watch me open them?”

“Your father is still in bed.  Let him sleep.”

“I’ll wait.”

He took off running to his father’s bedroom, his mom following, “Wait. Stop this minute!”

But he reached his father’s master bedroom and pushed open the door. A woman that Wayne had never met before sat up, covering herself with sheets. 

His father yelled, “Can’t I have some damn privacy?!  Even on Christmas morning!”

That Christmas, Wayne did not open a single present. Somehow they all got opened and put away. He would be playing in his playroom and come across a new pirate ship and characters that he begged for but he refused to play with it. A few days after Christmas, he was in his garage and noticed a new shiny bike in the corner. He complained to his Nanny that his old bike was gone. He refused to accept any of the gifts from that day. 

To be continued…

Spiritual Flesh and Blood 9

(A continuation of a story. If you want to start at the beginning, scroll to Spiritual Flesh and Blood 1)

In high school, Wayne got the highest grades.  His teachers praised him and his peers idolized him.  But Wayne wanted more.

People are told we are animals.  In school across America, kids are taught they are evolved from a monkey.  In many ways this is true.  Wayne was highly educated, highly talented, and dressed and equipped with the finest of what money could buy, but he was just like a more evolved animal.  He was like a pure breed at a dog show that would obediently perform for treats, but he was still an animal.  He did not think for himself; his world was cause and effect.

But something was torturing him.  Something, somewhere was beginning to cause him to think bigger.  What was his purpose?  What was beyond this dog and pony show?  He was at the top of society and his future was bright but there was a nagging hole inside him.

At his high school graduation, Wayne was valedictorian and received honor after honor.  Why was this not enough to satisfy him?  Maybe, although it was expected, he was disappointed after his father was not there.

Wayne did not know what he wanted out of life but he did know one thing:  he did not want to be like his father.  But what did that even mean?  That fact was that he did not know his father at all.  His father was just not there.

Not attending his graduation was one of many times he was absent from big events in Wayne’s life.  He had come to expect it.  He was disappointed at five when he was not there to see him get a baseball trophy.  He was disappointed when he was the only ten year old without a father at the school father-son camping trip.  He was disappointed when his best friend asked if his parents were divorced and even when one friend asked if his dad had died, simply because after years of being friends, they had never met him.

To be continued…

 

 

Spiritual Flesh and Blood 8

(A continuation of a story. If you want to start at the beginning, scroll to Spiritual Flesh and Blood 1)

My father’s sermons were not personal for me or my brother or my sister.  We were strangers that lived in his house.  I remember sitting in the pew and hearing my father talk week after week about a loving God.  I remember thinking that my father was a different man, there behind the pulpit.  It was the only time I saw him smile.  He knew the answers and he knew a relationship with God.

His personal demons could not reach his heart, they could only influence his life.  So, their agreement was that they would sit outside the church while he preached and then they returned to his shoulders as he walked out the door.

Wayne was different.  Evil won battle after battle since he was conceived.  Wayne grew up and changed from that plump-faced quiet child who longed for a childhood.  He couldn’t change them, so he joined them.  He accepted the money and the attention and the praise of the world.  He walked through this world blind, always being told how good he was, and he came to believe the empty lies.  But God does not care what the world thinks.  Darkness was upon the face of Wayne.  His life was without purpose and it was void.  Then the Spirit of God moved in the heavens.

The world did not know that when he was born, the angels and demons gathered.  Angel victory stepped forward and shouted, “Proclaim this among the nations:  Prepare for war!  Rouse the warriors!  We are about to conquer this human life for good!

Demon Defeat had won so many battles in this young life but Defeat would soon receive a massive blow that would change the tides of the war on Wayne’s life.  A camel as about to walk through the eye of a needle.  

To be continued…

Spiritual Flesh and Blood 7

(A continuation of a story. If you want to start at the beginning, scroll to Spiritual Flesh and Blood 1)

Satan’s greatest mission is to conceal the mystery and greatness of love from the human race.  He seeks to pollute it in many forms.  Love leads to marriage.  He slowly demolishes that definition.  Love leads to family.  He plans its ruin.  Love gives to sacrifice.  He leads the heart toward selfishness.  Love leads to forgiveness.  He whispers the offense again and again into the ear of the offended.  The power of love reaches far and wide.  It is the greatest weapon that the demonic army must battle.  The greatest opponent to the God of Love is the god of lies.
Satan has been whispering lies into the ears of humans for all of history.  He whispered that same thing into my ear.  He told me, “Ha!  God does not love you!  Insignificant little Claire.  God is ashamed of you, little motherless child, if there even is a God at all.  He does not want you.  He does not love you.”  But like many, even though I struggled, God had a bigger plan for me.  God showed me what a deep, personal love he has for me.

When I was seven years old, Angel Life won the greatest battle of my life.  I was young and innocent by the world’s standards.  I had not been so polluted by sin and the world as much as someone that has lived more of their life.  It is easier for the angelic army to win the battle in a young child.

To be continued…

Spiritual Flesh and Blood 6

He was raised by a nanny and then sent off to boarding school at the age of ten.  He had one older half-sister, Sarah.  She was ten years older and not a part of his childhood at all. She was his father’s child from a past marriage and lived with her mother in another state on the other side of the country.  He also had seven other half-siblings, but he never knew of their existence and his father never claimed them.  They lived with their mothers in poverty, children of prostitutes.  

His childhood contained a workaholic father who traveled more than he was at home and a needy mother who succumbed to the cravings of this world.  He had no rules. He was told to follow his desires and he was given the resources to do so.  His name was Wayne.  

Deep, deep evil and the purest goodness fought for these two lives.  They battled for my life and for the life of Wayne.  Our lives were connected from birth but we did not know it.  We were meant to be and we were prepared for each other.  Not by our parents, not by our teachers, not by ourselves, but by God.  He always has a bigger plan than we see.  He has a plan of love for each of us.  Satan does not believe in love and he does not understand but he is terrorized by its power.  He shrieks and wriggles at the very mention of the word.

To be continued…

Spiritual Flesh and Blood 5

There was another life that affected my own as much as anything that happened during my childhood.  He was formed out of the dust of the ground and I was made from the ribs of his body.  I was completely oblivious to the life of a little boy who was as much me as I was myself.

He was not loved by his parents, but he was provided for.  Concurrent to the day of my mother’s funeral, his father called him into his office.  The little boy wore a designer baby blue suit tailored to fit him, made of shorts at the bottom to show his knee socks and leather two toned shoes.  His bowl haircut and chubby cheeks showed his youth more than his dress or his serious expression. He walked with fear, wishing he had not carried his airplane into his father’s presence.  His father leaned forward from behind his large desk.  The sun shone in from the large window behind him so that the little boy could only see his large silhouette.

Invisible demons stroked his father, “Yes.  Yes.  You are powerful.  What is this thing that lingers in your presence.  Make him leave.”  His father listened to this inner conversation as he stared down at him.  He thought about his personal power and accomplishments.  Who was this person that was not respectful of what he had accomplished?

The little boy paused, not knowing that the silence was awkward, knowing only that it was fearful.  His heart was beating quickly.

A beautiful woman wearing a dress suit and her hair tied up in a bun walked over and leaned down and whispered into his father’s ear.  His father did not change his expression or even seem to notice, except that he gave her a single nod.

Then his father addressed him.  He spoke for the first time since the boy had entered the room.  It was two words but it turned all the mystery and awe the little boy had concerning this man into one thing:  hate.

Go away.” These two words his father coldly addressed toward him.  He gave no reason for having called him there.  What he felt now was what he had always felt about his son.  His father felt he had never wanted him.

To be continued…

Spiritual Flesh and Blood 4

Her death was an emptiness that would haunt my life and I did not know how to fill that void.  My father shut himself off inside his church.  He was a pastor who was closed off to his children.  We were now nothing but a reminder of the wife he lost.  We were nothing but a burden like predicted.

My father hid in his work, not knowing how to deal with his own hurt.  Loss of love hurts so badly.  When he was alone, he would think about us and how he wanted to love us and help us.  He thought about how much we must be hurting also.  That is because his heart was good.  He would promise himself that he would do things better.  He would be a better father.  But he did not pray concerning us.  He did not call on God to be our father.  He tried to do it in his own power.  And whenever he was in our presence, Demon Suffering squeezed his throat so that the right words would not come out and my father would run from our presence to seek relief from that pain that he always felt when he was around us.

And then a new demon joined my father:  Demon Regret.  Now he could never be a father again.  He had messed everything up in our family.  He quit trying.

To be continued…